Eight-Passenger Subaru B9 Tribeca Limousine Combines Practicality With Wide-Eyed Excitement
Quick, name one redeeming feature about the Subaru B9 Tribeca. Does the urinal-shaped grille count for anything? (No.) How about "the beauty of all-wheel drive?" (Maybe.) The swoopy dash? The 3-row seating? Did you say, "the B9 Tribeca needs to be three times bigger than this?" Because if you did, you're in luck—here's your chance to impress the entire Kiwanis club with the most practical (and only—hopefully) Subaru B9 Tribeca 8-passenger limousine on Earth. For a mere $75,000, enjoy all of the cachet and luxurious sophistication of limousines combined with the dog-friendly practicality of a Subaru product! Wouldn't you feel lucky on prom night, rolling up to Rolling Meadows Country Club in a car that looks like a dachshund caught in a wooden fence? Drive it to the Westminster Dog Show and land a sponsorship deal with Purina and a movie remake with Christopher Guest! Who says limousines have to be unreliable, or gaudy, or have curbside appeal, or aftermarket wheels (hey, at least they're chrome), or not combine the best attributes of a a licorice stick and helostoma temminckii? Not Singer Subaru of Plaistow, NH, that's who! Inside, you'll find a warm, perforated leatherette interior with austere mahogany cabinets and all the unlimited juice you can handle. There's seating for 8 lucky tykes, but everything in front of those slanted opera lights is pure mid-2000s Subaru, and therefore possibly still under warranty. Unsurprisingly, the drivetrain is stock, only with a modified driveshaft that could pass as a telephone pole. Who knows the company that built it, but it's clear that unlike other common examples of redneck limo engineering, a lot of investment went into this. Which makes the $75,000 price tag a steal—especially considered to flights of fancy that derive from more exotic ilk. If you're interested, operators are standing by. Plus, it has the added bonus of making the guy with the Dodge Nitro limo look cool. Source: Singer Subaru
No matter how many "man vans," "sport vans," and "swagger wagons" we see, there's never going to be a minivan...