Lambo vs. Rat Rod vs. Porsche 911: Choose Your Rum-Based Poison
It's a bizarre example of automotive symbiosis where two vehicles like this can even exist on the same planet. But in a perfectly Darwinian sense of evolution, these vehicles spawned from the same underlying principles of being as attention-grabbing as—well, they're both their own metaphors. One old school, one new. One ferociously Italian and snapped up by playboys, one built by pompadour-sporting blue-collar types with too much grease under their Dickies. And one more—a challenger, really—that dispenses with all of this silliness and can actually go fast. In this episode of Roadkill, Hot Rod's David Freiburger and Mike Finnegan go out for a roadtrip in Lamborghini's ultra-fast, incomprehensibly-named, occasionally toasty Aventador and a 1930 Ford Model A rat rod—sponsored by Sailor Jerry rum, complete with booze tap in the dashboard—seemingly cobbled together from F4U Corsair scrap metal and strains of pure tetanus. Twelve-year-olds of the world rejoice, because this is your moment of zen. "It's not that fast," says Freiburger about a Lamborghini that goes 0-60 in less than 3 seconds. The rat rod "overheats a little," says Finnegan, about a car that has no windows and less bodywork than a Smart run through by Grave Digger. How can a car with no hood overheat? Answer: they found a way. Spoiler alert: chicks dig the rat rod, and guys love Lamborghinis. You might want to slyly mention your T-bucket to your eHarmony profile, fellas. In the end, both are stupid, silly vehicles. It's an exercise in ingloriously attention-starving overkill of the finest order, or exactly what should be expected from the conniving geniuses at Hot Rod Magazine who somehow wrangled the Aventador's keys from a poor Lamborghini rep in the first place. And for this, they deserve a Pulitzer. If your automotive tastes run a little less, you know, insane, there's always the 2012 Porsche 911 Carrera S as tested by Ignition. It doesn't have a V-12 engine and gunslit windows, nor does it have a sticker that says "what could possibly go wrong?" on the exposed steering column. It does, however, have a Doppelkupplungsgetriebe. And while it won't hit 60 in less than 3 seconds—3.8 seconds being the operative time here—it won't overheat on the freeway, either. Especially considering that it's a convertible. And as Carlos Lago found out, with launch control on it will hit that magical 60 number faster than you can say "doppelkupplungsgetriebe" 10 times fast. It's an advancement of the breed. Darwin would be proud. If you want to keep living vicariously through Freiburger and Finnegan's adventures, or just want to experience their misery in automotive schadenfreude, look for more about the Lamborghini and rat rod in the next issue of Hot Rod.
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