Last 2013 Nissan Altima Teaser Shows Car, Spares Further Headaches of "Marketing Genius"*

By Jacob Brown | March 29, 2012
"Hey guys! Hey guys! I have a great idea!" an advertising agency executive says after hurriedly calling Nissan North America's marketing department. "Let's show some new stuff—some cool stuff—no, some really, really cool stuff! Let's feature one of your new cars! Whatcha got going on sale sometime soon?" he continues. "Well, the refreshed 2013 Nissan GT-R has already been announced. And we're not going to get the auto journo world abuzz with the new Versa sedan. Um, we have the 2013 Nissan Altima coming out in time for the New York Auto Show," says the exec.
"Cool! Cool! Cool!" continues the newly promoted advertising exec at an agency working with Nissan. "There's this thing called YouTube. It's all part of what the kids these days are calling social media. We should use it to show the Altima—because the gross impressions will be huge!—but we should only show the car in snippets."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, son," the Nissan marketer continues. "This internet thing is a powerful tool. It's the great equalizer, the only series of tubes that run the circumference of the world. Twice. How would you use it?" "First we're going to show the overhead view of the car for three seconds out of an eight-second video. Then we're going to do the same for a headlight, tail light, and side profile, but those we'll only be seven-second videos. We don't want to give the audience more than they can handle. For the fifth and final video— "Yes, what will be the finale, son?"

"We're going to make a 19-second teaser, with 14 seconds being of the car itself. But it'll be deceptive, a car within a car. It'll be like the Inception of car teasers, and we'll use it to show off your new Advanced Drive-Assist technology. You know, the one that can scroll through your turn-by-turn navigation right on the dashboard using a digital illustration of the car!" "Genius!" the Nissan exec exclaims. "Can we get Leo to do a cameo?" "Too expensive." "How about Adrianna Lima?" "Kia already used her." "Darn it. If we don't have a spokesperson, we're just going to have to be as annoying as possible to get the attention of shoppers looking at Camrys and Accords," the Nissan exec finishes. "Go, junior, and make short, vague press releases to go with the car so auto journalists can't help but to be captivated by our marketing plan for the 2013 Altima. Make it so." Source: Nissan *Not an actual conversation, but we can't anticipate it really went much differently.