What Would Santa Drive? Five Rides to Replace the Sleigh

By Jacob Brown | December 23, 2011
Santa. Sinterklaas. Kris Kringle. Saint Nicholas. No matter what you call him, most of us imagine him as a jolly bearded man in red velour who delivers presents to all of the good boys and girls. For those who don’t fall under that criterion, sorry, you get coal. Or a flat tire. With our staff in the holiday spirit, we came up with a list five vehicles we think would rule in the Yule. No need to be standing under the mistletoe to fall in love with them, and we imagine Santa would dig these sleigh rides, too. Paragraphimage 2012 Volvo XC60

As the Santa Claus we know today was derived from Netherlandish mythology, we knew a Swedish vehicle had to make the list. The XC60 is a vehicle that any giver of happiness would gladly trade his sleigh in for. With available all-wheel drive, luxury galore, and actually tested to be able to avoid moose that may cross the road that makes our government tests look like child’s play, this Volvo is as delightful as milk and cookies waiting by the tree. It’s no Swedish meatball. Paragraphimage 2012 Ferrari FF

It’s entirely too expensive for us to consider in normal circumstances, but it’s just too hard to ignore for Santa’s “Nice” list. Is it red? Yes. Does it have all-wheel drive for tacking inclement weather? Yes. In fact, Ferrari even sends buyers to a winter driving school, albeit in fancy-schmancy Aspen. Can it haul bags of presents? As many as Santa can hold in his other daily driver. Lastly, can it get around the world quickly? At 208 mph on the top end, it’s enough to get on next year’s “Naughty” list with just one drive. Paragraphimage 2010 Mr. Norm’s Red Express Truck Dodge Ram

Inspired by the original Li’l Red Express, a version of the Dodge Ram in the 1970s that was quicker than some sports cars of the day, Mr. Norm’s custom Dodge Ram is there for when Santa’s simpler tastes take hold. With touches like a custom leather interior, a bed with wood inlays, and Dodge’s 390-horsepower Hemi V-8 engine, this regular cab, short-bed pickup can haul more than just presents in style. What’s more, because of a relocated exhaust, Mr. Norm even ensures you can hang stockings on it by the chimneys with care. Paragraphimage 2012 Land Rover LR4

There’s something about trundling over rivers and through wooded areas in the dead of winter that makes us double over and heave a little, as some of our staffers have avoided snow since moving out to California from the Northeast and Midwest. But if we have to make that trip—and, more importantly, if Mr. Kringle does—we can’t think of a vehicle much better than a Land Rover LR4. It has rear panoramic windows, seating for seven, and it doesn’t need to be optioned beyond the already-elegant standard model to be able to tackle the wild unknown. Paragraphimage 2012 Subaru WRX hatchback

Santa’s not about commercialism or fancy things, much as we’re led to believe. He’s a simple guy who just believes in giving the spirit of happiness and joy for a day. In the same vein, there’s little not to like about this gift that keeps on giving, the turbocharged, 265-horsepower Subaru WRX. Its wrapper may not be the fanciest, and it may not come with a giant bow on top. But it’s practical, well-built, and has way more power than any compact car needs. We imagine Santa could keep this as a daily driver, delivering plenty enough joy just by putting his foot down on the rightmost pedal.

  • 2010 Dodge Ram Red Express Truck Rear Quarter
  • 2012 Ferrari FF Front Quarter
  • 2012 Land Rover LR4 Front Quarter
  • 2012 Subaru Impreza WRX Five Door Hatchback Front Quarter
  • 2012 Volvo XC60 Front Quarter
 
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